SweetBeard.com Blog

The Secret

Sat, 17 Feb 2024 13:04:22 -0000

In the world of competitive sports, or indeed any endeavor - every edge counts. From intense training to strategic thinking, we all seek ways to gain an advantage over rivals. But there is one secret weapon that has been overlooked by many - growing a beard for the love of Taylor Swift.

It might sound complicated, but the secret is to break this project down into manageable steps:

1. Grow a beard
2. Start dating pop celebrity Taylor Swift
3. Experience performance gains

An Ode to Beards - by DALL-E and ChatGPT

Tue, 7 Mar 2023 20:50:20 -0000

Truly, the age of Skynet is almost here. I for one welcome our robot overlords.

With hair like a lion's mane,
To shave a beard would be insane,
A symbol of ruggedness and might,
Its hard not to love this sight.

Beards can be soft or bristly,
Trimmed or wild and frizzly,
With a beard one commands respect,
And their presence, one can't neglect.

From lumberjacks to poets,
A beard suits all who show it,
It adds a touch of mystery,
And makes the face less blistery.

Beards keep a face warm,
In winter's fiercest storm,
And in summer, they can shield,
The sun's death rays from far afield.

In short, beards are awesome,
They make a man, and make him fearsome,
So let's raise a toast to these hairy fellows,
For with beards like theirs, our hearts are jell-o.

CoronaBeard

Thu, 19 Mar 2020 18:15:52 -0000

Social Justice Whiskers

Mon, 23 Apr 2018 12:04:03 -0000

Back in 2013 we raised an alarm of possible beardorrism, and call-out culture being what it is, everyone immediately capitulated. Our justice war was as social as it was swift: 4 years later Adam Evans still has a beard. Also he made a film.

Yea, with perseverence brung from a long beard, a short film did rise. Through the power of virtually zero cost virtue signaling™, sweetbeard even made it into the credits. Perhaps you did too? The only way to find out is to stream it on Amazon Prime Video now. Yes, that Prime Video. The one that you already have. That's right, Jack: no money needs to even change hands in this transaction. Watch it because you support the arts, need to observe human behavior more closely, or simply enjoy moving picture shows. But most of all do it because if you don't, you're a beardorrist. #StubbleJusticeNow!

PROOF OF BEARD

PSA

Wed, 14 Feb 2018 00:00:00 -0000

At long last U+1F9D4

Fri, 30 Jun 2017 00:00:00 -0000

The Unicode Consortium released its much-anticipated Version 10.0 of the Unicode standard. In large part the new version is an unexciting iterative release, documenting changes to the technical standards documents and other boilerplate business: save one important item.

U+1F9D4 bearded person.

Finally.

It may seem difficult to imagine, but Unicode canonicalized codepoints for more mundane things like Slightly Smiling Face, the Taijitu symbol, and the letter W before it did so for Bearded Person. Better late than never, Unicode.

Well, crap.

Sun, 9 Oct 2016 00:00:00 -0000

The final results of the 2016 US general election are in, and it's safe to say: everyone should be disappointed. Yet again we have a shaven president elect. That's right. In a disappointing and frankly shocking shift of the fickle electoral tides, Joe Exotic did not win the popular or electoral vote and will not therefore be our nation's 45th president. So get cracking, people. We have but four years to bring back the beard.

A Great Idea

Tue, 8 Sep 2015 17:58:35 -0000

Once upon a time the sweet beard practicioners at sweetbeard.com were annoyed by a certain popular shaving website and created DollarBeardClub. Alas the marketing department which produced this gem of an advertisement won't be winning a CLIO any time soon. As such, we let the domain go, and couldn't be happier that we did, because lo, the interwebs sprang forth with this:

Obligatory? Real Jedi Have Beards

Tue, 17 Mar 2015 07:00:00 -0000

http://www.nathanhamill.com/news/2014/8/8/lavabear-travels-part-3-8814

I'm not really certain what this "Star Wars" branding is all about, since clearly the only real Star Wars movies were made between 1977 and 1983. That is Mark Hamill however, as his son Nathan's traveling Lavabear proves.

Rumor has it that the beard was mandatory for the new film. George Lucas incontrovertably understood the benefit of a sweet beard, so why then did it take Disney to bring beards to the party? Furthermore, considering the multitude of unnecessary digital alterations made to the canonical feature films, why wasn't a beard added to all Jedi as a simple matter of course?

*Image credit Nathan Hamill

Time to join Bristlr

Tue, 18 Nov 2014 21:00:00 -0000

It's time to join Bristlr. You're here, so we know you like beards and the Internet. Good odds you also enjoy silly websites dedicated to beards that started as a joke. Almost eight short years ago somebody else did that very thing.

"Pish posh and scrumdoggerydoo," you say! "That's just another beard site which could take precious moments away from consuming and contributing quality SweetBeard content!" Nay. Just as many hairs join together in united coordinated effort to form a sweet beard, so too must many software developers called John join in beard-related frivolity. A wild North Atlantic may divide our servers, but together, the state of our beards remain strong.

News from the 'making things more badass' desk

Mon, 23 Jun 2014 12:28:54 -0000

..Which is definitely a real desk.

Let's get real for a second. He-Man wasn't a real man at all, was he? All that working out, swordplay, and "I have the power" lightning bolt business isn't fooling anyone, buddy. Might as well call him He-Compensates, which admittedly doesn't have quite the same ring to it. That is until now. Skeletor, look out, son! You no longer enjoy facial parity with your pals over at Castle Greyskull.

Check out a few more at Gizmodo, or better yet, hire Vanja to take something of yours in a bit of a badasserly direction.

Power Comes from the Beard

Fri, 6 Jun 2014 15:00:00 -0000

We're sure you remember Rob and his beard from such fine posts as "Friday is for Beards" and "New Product: Sparkbeard." As you can see, his beard is making great progress, and behold: his power grows.

Peak Beard?

Wed, 16 Apr 2014 17:40:49 -0000

So long, posers.

That's all I have to say to any of the recently-shaven, trend-riding, otherwise hyphen-creating beard growers. Now scientists, British scientists at that -so you know they at the very least sound authoritative- have underscored what we already knew. The Brooklyn Beard won't work as intended. If you grew a beard because George Clooney grew one, you're too late to the beard party.

Mr. Beard.

Tue, 1 Apr 2014 11:57:50 -0000

As fellow NoVa Perl-lovers, we here at SweetBeard are rather fond of ThinkGeek. Even after being acquired by Andover, they held on to their fun culture.

Beards, Brews, and BBQ

Tue, 11 Mar 2014 16:30:46 -0000

Mark your calendars, kids. In just under one month three of the best B-words are coming together into a delicious sandwich: Beards, Brews, and BBQ. You may recognize one of the breweries involved as none other than Forge Brew Works, so at least one bearded (therefore trustworthy) brewer will be in attendance. Also, rumor has it that selected SweetBeard staff will be judging the beard contest, so get those bribes in quickly everyone!