The Atlantic published a compelling article in their August issue on the assorted health benefits the moustached man enjoys. In an era of increasing political partisanship, a doubling down of which Americans will suffer for the next 3 months, it's nice to read about real solutions from a non-party-affiliated1 source. Forget Obamacare, Johnsoncare2, Romneycare, taxes, or deficit spending. What we need is a moustache, and friends, we need it soon.
We won't spoil a good read, but just look at some of the healthy highlights!
- Cancer protection
- Tax Benefits
- Increased Attractiveness
Yeah, that's right kids. Pancakes.
A question then begs asking, the answer to which must be obvious if we are honest with ourselves. If all these benefits can be realized by a simple 'stache, how much more beneficial must be a full beard?
 Unless you count the party on the upper lip, in which case, it's super affiliated.
 Just kidding, Gary Johnson doesn't portend to resolve complex issues with legislative monoliths
Whoa there my bearded friend. There's more pogonotrophy where this came from