Pine Tree Beardorrism
What is Beardorrism? I'm glad you asked. Beardorrism is not just a compound lexeme. Beardorrism is Pogonophobia run amok. Beardorrism plays on our lizard brain like Dusty Hill plays an electric bass. I'm talking about fear, man! It overloads the higher senses causing perfectly reasonable bearded people with unreasonably sized profile photos to sponsor graphics like this:
How is that even presented as an option? Tell me, how?! Context chum, it's gone all topsy turvy. So to provide said context, and in the theme of film production, here's a script snippet:
SCENE: ANYWHERE. NIGHT. ADAM "Shave the beard?" (intense laughter from everyone everywhere)
Now - because we could not call ourselves Americans if we didn't respond to fear mongering with a knee-jerk sacrifice of treasure irrespective of the consequences, it's time to support the project. SweetBeard already donated an undisclosed amount commensurate to its own vast wealth. You should too. For you see, if one really thinks about it, Pine Tree isn't about art. It's a cautionary tale of a man lacking a sweet beard, and his descent into table talking madness. Aesop and Adam. One had a pen, the other a camera. Both have a beard and a story to tell.
Whoa there my bearded friend. There's more pogonotrophy where this came from