Look out, humanity. A marketing move reminiscent of Idiocracy has researchers on the verge of a gel that could transform a man's face into a woman's legs.
IBN brings you the details, but who needs them? Another arrow aimed at awesome beards flies forth from the covetous bow of the shaven. Why is this wondergel even framed in the context of beards? Aren't there plenty of more customary applications for hair removal products? Conspiracy, that's why! In a more perfect universe all consumers could see past this charlatanry, but let's be honest. Some of the greatest beards might be the smartest component of otherwise cognitively handicapped individuals. So let this then be a warning. For a sweet beard, stay away from cidofovir.
Photo Credit: http://vnatsci.ltu.edu/s_schneider/personal/beard04.jpg

Pogonophobia. It's real, it's nefarious, and if some fringe extremist publications have their way, it will silently spread into the recesses of your mind. Gizmodo, we expected more from you. Incendiary headlines like "Scientific Proof That Women Hate Beards" do not dam the tide of discrimination any more than they can the facial follicles.

Further, claiming that results from a sample size so small are "conclusive" is statistical poppycock. Let's take the Dixson-Vasey study to its logical conclusion. If 200 male politicians were to state on the record that they were more attracted to 19 photos of their own wives vs. 19 photos of other women(or men for that matter), would you believe the population at large would agree with their findings? No. Because what someone says on the record is quite different from what they're really* in to. This is basic Participant Bias, not the stuff of hard science.

Let's burn away the fog of shaven misdirection and get to the heart of the matter: Pogonophobia. Whether it come from the ivory towers of the educational elite, or the filthy corners of the barber's floor, hate speech and discrimination against sweet beards should not be tolerated. That's why the CHoP is releasing this brand new flyer, so that you too can help put an end to shaving, once and for all.

Worried you aren't sending enough vitamins and minerals to your beard and/or municipal waste treatment facility?
Well, worry no more. Now VitaBeard™ can deliver all your supplementation needs, branded in a way that is much easier to swallow. Also, for those in the northern hemisphere, it's warming up! Science has shown^[1] that beards grow faster in the summer. So you can have some fantastic correlation, which as we all know, implies the hell out of some causation.
[1] For certain values of Science - aka: Wikipedia
[2] Our BeardPal™ @bandholz has some useful comments on the subject.